Feeling Negative...BLEH!

colored by me :)

Hey y'all. It's currently brewing up a storm outside and that's how I feel today. I feel like a storm is brewing inside my head. I'm just in a negative mindset today and feeling worthless, useless, and like I'm just a slug. Yes, I'm a slug person now. I know everyone has bad days and that this will pass but when you have anxiety and depression, bad days just exacerbate your mental illness. I'm anxious and feel like this bad mood will never end and then what will I do?! And I feel sad about my current state of life and how I'm not able to drive or work. I get discouraged by that in my bad days and then the feeling of despair and just being a general b*tch come next. 

BUT! There's always a but! But, I am very blessed and lucky in my life and I need to remember that. I have the best, most supportive family and friends. I live in a beautiful home in a beautiful state. I never go hungry or thirsty or without anything I need. And I have a ton of stuff I don't need but am lucky to have. I should be happy with life yet I constantly want more, more, MORE and that's not good. Bad path to go down. I need to remember God put me here to be me and live my life and love Him. It's so easy to forget that in this world. 

To distract myself today, I've ironed ALL my dad's clothes that needed to be done. Yay for me! P.S. I HATE ironing, especially ironing pants and there was a huge pile of 'em today. I also colored a lot and watched Youtube. I fed my kitties. I watched the storm roll in. I contemplated my reason for being here. And then I wrote this. 

Maybe my purpose is this little blog of mine and sharing my thoughts, life, and issues. I hope I make people feel less alone or able to relate to me in some way. Maybe no one does and I'm just shouting into oblivion lol. But that's okay. I feel content with that possibility. Maybe I'm just here to share my life and love and that's that. 

I can live with that :)

Alette