Dealing With No Motivation/Apathy

"You are functioning like a fairly normal person. Good job!" colored by me

Hey y'all, sorry my blogging has sucked big time lately. I just wanted to talk about how I've been feeling lately and my struggle with no motivation and feeling apathetic. I'm just trying to be real here and maybe help anyone else feeling the same things feel less alone. 

The past few weeks I've been really out of it and sort of unwell physically and mentally. I've thrown all cares and worries out the window and have basically only been sleeping, eating, and delving into escapist activities to avoid reality. I've felt no motivation whatsoever and have been pretty apathetic and numb to even things that usually bring me enjoyment. 

It really sucks because this has been affecting my blogging as well. I love blogging and have so many plans and ideas for it, but lately I've been thinking, what's the point? Which is so unlike me. I've posted a few half hearted things here and there, but nothing substantial. I feel like I'm just going through the movements of life but not living. 

But, I'm surviving and that's the most important thing. I see my psychiatrist soon and maybe I'll need a med change. I see my therapist soon and maybe she can help me figure out what's wrong. In times like this, it's so important to 1. Rely on your support system. And 2. Be gentle with yourself.  So I've been watching only happy things to soothe my brain, listen to calming music, coloring in my anti-stress books, and just taking it easy. 

I'm avoiding a family gathering tomorrow because I feel so awful and insecure that I know I'll probably have a panic attack and feel even worse if I go. I just hate that my illnesses get in the way of my life. I can just see in the distant horizon a version of myself without being sick and I am thriving, happy, and social. I just wish that were the real me. 

But for now, I'm taking it easy and waiting this out and getting help. Life will get better, I just have to get through this crummy part and look forward to brighter days. 

I'm sorry my content has been lacking on all of my blogs, but I promise once I get back into the swing of things, everything will be much better. And if any of you ever feel like this, please know you're not alone. Hang in there, things will get better! Make sure you utilize your support systems and be gentle with yourself. We can get through this. 

I hope you're all doing well and Happy Friday by the way. Enjoy your weekend :)

Alette