My Mental Health Blog & Story

Hey y'all, Happy Friday! Hope you're having a great day! Today I wanted to introduce my mental health blog and talk about my mental health story. 

My mental health blog is called Calming Care and is on tumblr so feel free to follow me there or just browse! The url is calmingcare.tumblr.com

I wanted to make a tumblr blog primarily about self care, self love, and mental health awareness. There I'll post tips, advice, happy things, quotes, and anything that can lift spirits. I just wanted to create a safe space for people to find positivity and feel and know that they are loved. 

My mental health story is something I've wanted to talk in depth about so people can understand me a bit better and know where I'm coming from. 

I've suffered from general anxiety and social anxiety since I was a little girl. I wasn't formally diagnosed until I was 18, but let me tell ya, I had a hell of a time with it for years! I still do, but it's better managed with medication and therapy. When I was little I would bite my nails until they bled and fret over every little thing. I had awful stomach aches from anxiety and couldn't sleep at night. I just thought that this was normal and how I was supposed to be. But thank goodness I later on went to therapy and took medications. Life doesn't have to be that bad! But for my whole school career I really struggled with nerves and panic attacks. I wish I had realized I needed help earlier so I could have enjoyed life more, but that's okay. I still have panic attacks nowadays but at least I finally know what they are and how to cope!

Starting when I was 16 years old, I struggled with depression. It started as situational depression because I had moved from Texas (where I had a wonderful school, home, and large group of friends) to Nebraska (where I had no one and the entire town was very cliquey). I chugged along in life and got through high school, but the depression stayed with me and it wasn't until I was 18 when I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. It's still a struggle, especially in winter or times of change. But again, therapy and meds have helped immensely! At one point before I got help, I was so depressed that I had suicidal ideation (thinking of suicide but not attempting it). That was a very dark and scary time and I'm so glad I got the help I needed and ran away from those thoughts. 

When I was 19, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which in my case, is schizophrenia mixed with depression. That was life changing. I had been hallucinating, hearing voices, having delusions, being super paranoid, contemplating suicide...overall I was in a very dangerous and terrifying place. I started seeing psychiatrists on top of going to therapy and I was put on even more meds, many of which were heavy duty with major side effects. Slowly, I stabilized but it's something I will struggle with for the rest of my life. I will always be anxious to some degree, have periods of depression, be somewhat paranoid, occasionally hear voices or see glimpses of things, and I do have to talk myself out of delusions quite often. It's just a part of life now. 

So that is my story and history. I am severely mentally ill but I don't define myself by that. But I think it's important to talk about, especially in light of recent events, so people feel less alone and less scared. I really want to break down the stigma and fear, so here I am! And that's also why I created Calming Care. I hope this helps someone and if anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask. I exist to educate with my experiences. 

So, if you or someone you know has mental illness or you just need a place of pure positivity and care, check out calmingcare.tumblr.com

I hope you all are doing well. Take care of yourselves and each other! Give a hug. Eat some chocolate. Life isn't that bad, things will be okay :)

Alette