Dealing With Depression: You're Not Alone

Good Evening, or rather Good Night? I'm writing this at 1:30 am so maybe I should say early Good Morning? Anyway, I felt this topic weighing heavily on me and figured I should write about it. I'll be talking a lot about depression and suicide so if that's triggering to you, please don't read. I completely understand! Now, I'll begin.

I'm sure most of you have heard of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain's suicides that have occurred over the past few days. I was sad to hear of Kate Spade's passing; I always thought she was a talented designer. But, I was devastated to hear of Anthony Bourdain's passing. I adored his books and tv shows; I absolutely loved his writing style and creativity. His way of connecting with people and cultures through food was so fascinating to me and it taught me a lot! He seemed like such a worldly person, going everywhere and meeting everyone. I admired his fearlessness of the unknown and what seemed to be his confidence and ease with himself. He seemed like this invincible man who knew all the secrets of the world. And then this morning, I found out the news. I was and still am shocked. I keep thinking about Kitchen Confidential and how he wrote about his childhood and summer in France where he discovered his love for food. How he survived addiction, got help, and won! How, in every show, he'd show the humanity and goodness in every culture all while eating a delicious meal and making witty jokes. To now know that he was suffering in silence and felt that the only way out was death is awful. I hope he is now at complete peace and finally feels what pure happiness is. 

Depression is a scary, dangerous, intangible creature. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder since I was 18, but I've been dealing with it since I was 16. And I'll tell you first hand that it is terrifying what it can do to you. Depression tells you lies of how worthless and useless you are. How much of a burden you are. It sucks the joy out of all your passions. It literally makes the world look like it has a gray filter. I've had days where I didn't get out of bed. I've had nights where I cried for hours and just kept thinking why the hell am I still alive? The most dangerous part of depression is when you're so low that you see death dangling in front of you and it looks glorious. You start thinking how you won't feel like this anymore and how everyone will be better off without you. Those thoughts are called suicidal ideation and if you ever get that low, PLEASE tell someone or get to the hospital. Past that point is attempt at suicide, which I have never experienced so I won't pretend I know what that is like, but I do know that it must be horrific. 

Take depression seriously. Even if it's a mild case. Tell your loved ones you aren't well. Get into therapy. Start medication if you need it. Take time off work or school if you need it. Treat depression like the serious medical condition that it is. The stigma needs to end. Mental health needs to be elevated to physical health's level of importance. People with mental illnesses need to be shown as the humans they are, not as someone "weird" or "dangerous". Men deserve more empathy and support for their mental health, as well as breaking down the toxic idea of "men don't cry/get emotional". Women deserve for their mental health to be taken seriously and not just written off as being "over emotional". Post partum women need better outreach, education, and support for the possibility of them suffering from post partum depression/psychosis. 

We've come a long way in terms of mental health awareness, but we have a long way to go still. If I hear another person say how selfish suicide is, I'm going to punch a hole through a brick wall! If you're suffering, please be gentle with yourself and voice your pain and ask for help. If you suspect someone is suffering, PLEASE reach out to them. That little gesture could be a life saving one. We all need to help and love each other, that's what we're all here on Earth to do. 

I'm including the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number in case you ever need it:

Call 1-800-273-8255

If you feel more comfortable texting, here is the crisis text line:

Text HOME to 741741

I'm exhausted so I think I'll end it here. Please give your loved ones a hug and let them know they're loved. Remember, things always get better, even when that seems impossible. Darkness never lasts. 

Alette