Don't Do This When You're Depressed!

The Scream by Edvard Munch

I'm here, I'm here! It's evening but I'm here! Phew, today has been utterly...tiring. I barely did anything but I'm exhausted, wiped out, and ready for another nap. I posted The Scream painting because this is literally how I feel my brain is acting, just screaming into oblivion surrounded by dim shades of color. I'm not sure if I'm depressed or just affected by the cold, dark weather. I love the winter but it's very hard on me mentally, so I've kinda gotten to the point where I subconsciously hate it. Anyone else the same way? Well, don't worry friends, spring will be here soon and all will be well. 

Speaking of depression and learning how to live and manage it, I have one HUGE tip if you suffer from it like I do. And not many people talk about this so I hope it helps. Anyway, the thing you should absolutely avoid doing when depressed is making any big decisions or life changes. I swear, this will save you so much regret and trouble. 

When you're depressed, your brain isn't thinking clearly. It's not itself. And you'll be trying to subconsciously "fix" it and do anything you can to go back to feeling better. Your brain will try telling you that you need to change this, that, and the other and that this will help you feel better. After all, a new change will bring a new start, right? Wrong. You'll still have depression to deal with AND major changes that have interrupted your life as well. 

What are some of the bad decisions I've made while deeply depressed? Oh boy, here we go...I painted my room dark gray and black, I dyed my hair black, I cut my hair (myself and badly), I dropped too many college classes to count (back when I still was trying to make it through school), I cut off friendships, I lashed out at people, I had binge eating feasts, the list goes on. 

When you're depressed, please try to ignore your brain's pleadings and focus on just "being". Acknowledge your depression, feel it, and simultaneously wait it out while working through it. Put all big decisions and life changes on hold until you're feeling more yourself again and can think more clearly and logically. This will be hard, but I've learned over the years to ignore my stupid brain and just wait for the future to re-evaluate things. 

And with that said, I'm going to find some fictional world through books or video games that I can escape to for the night. Ah yes, depression and escapism goes hand in hand. I should write about that too sometime. Is it healthy? Not in excess, but in moderation I believe it's fine. Or at least I try to convince myself of that. 

I hope you all are having a warm, cozy evening and are enjoying your weekend :)

See y'all tomorrow, 

Alette